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ABUSE EXPLAINED

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ABUSE TYPES

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                      WOUNDED

FAMILY ISSUES

STD INFORMATION
PORNOGRAPHY

• God is seen as impersonal and vindictive: members tend to have a "grace- deficit" theology.
  (Their religion and experience are based totally on fear, not on relief.)
• Emphasis on theological "correctness" to the neglect of relationships and of loving others.
• Demonstrates a "spiritual arrogance" [considers those from "outside" as less spiritual].
• You will hear comments like "I pride myself on my humility."
• Majors on minor theological issues and ignores or minimizes major ones.
• Scripture is said to be of primary importance, but in reality it is the leader's interpretation of Scripture that has primary importance.
• Traditions often overrule Biblical truth.
• Scripture is often misquoted, used out of context, or is degraded to the level of trite, pat answers in order to prove a point or to exact obedience to a system.
• Vocational emphasis is placed on full-time Christian service such as pastor or missionary; so-called "secular" jobs are often looked down upon as inferior.
• Intellectual development is limited to what fits the system; we think the way we do because we are right; the thoughts and opinions of others are not considered.
• Dogmaitism is common: the point under discussion is often explained by the quotation of a Bible verse, again, usually out of context.
• Members attempt to impose their personal opinions upon "outsiders" or upon those still within the system but under suspicion.
• Members who fail to conform to all major and minor doctrines or opinions are "blacklisted", labelled as unsubmissive rebels, or treated with suspicion.
• Harsh punishment can result and is often committed out of proportion to the seriousness of the "crime" committed. Expulsion from group occurs within this context.
• There is a lack of objective accountability: leadership is accountable to itself ONLY. [Often explains why the "religious" fear and despise psychology... fear of exposure by outsider]
• Leadership is viewed as infallible and beyond reproach.
• Undue/over-emphasis upon submission to authority.
• Conflicts are usually not allowed, since they threaten the peaceful "power" that ultimately controls the system.
• Strong emphasis is placed on the development of volition -- "yield your will to God (and to me!)" to the neglect of the emotional life -- "we don't feel". [choices MUST = emotion...]
• Expression of certain emotions, particularly anger, is seen as "unspiritual".
• Low self image, hyperactive conscience, undue guilt, and an inability to forgive, either others or oneself is very common.
• Relationships are maintained superficially on an intellectual or a cognitive level. [Women are allowed to emote, but because of this, they are seen as sub-par, for their emotions are seen to block their logic...emotional men are also seen as sub-par, representing a threat.]
• Communication often centers around theological issues; personal issues are rarely discussed. When they are, two phenomena find expression:
               o     Shredding people,
               o     setting up and knocking down straw men.
• Interpersonal intimacy is often lacking.
• Personal/emotional boundaries are often violated in the name of that which is "theologically sound".
               o     [In this context, love is defined as "putting you in your place".]
• Poor ability to relate to hurting people; offers pat answers instead of demonstrating loving care
  
  
  
  
          Unspoken Rules of a Spiritually Abusive Church
  
  

  These are rules which govern unhealthy churches or families but are not formally stated or written. Since they are not spoken verbally, you do not find out that the rule(s) exist until you have broken one.

  The unspoken rule may come across like this: Do not disagree with the church authorities þ especially the pastor or your loyalty will be suspect. Silence becomes the fortress wall of protection, shielding the pastor's power position from scrutiny or challenge.

  Of the unspoken rules, the can't talk rule is probably the most powerful. The thinking of this rule is: The real problem can not be exposed because then it would have to be dealt with and things would have to change, so it must be protected behind walls or silence (neglect or by assault þ legalistic attack). If you speak about the problem out loud, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. In some way you must be silenced or eliminated.

  A good example of this can't talk rule would be the phrase touch not the Lord's anointed. According to John Avanzini, Dr. Walter Martin (a cult apologetic expert) died because he spoke out against some of the Word-Faith teachers and their messages (John Avanzini with Paul Crouch, Spring 1990 Praise-a-thon, broadcast on Trinity Broadcast Network).

  Again, Enroth gives an example of the same thing which happened with Pat, a former youth worker at Phil Aquilar's Set Free Ministries. Six months after having left Set Free, Pat came back to visit her sister in law. Aquilar met him and began calling him names. A few minutes later, Aquilar's secretary shows up and joins in by telling Pat that he's treading on dangerous ground and that God would probably take Pat's life because he was "messing with a man who was anointed by God" (op. cit.).

  Speaking up or against spiritual abuse is not the problem. The real problem is if a Christian who feels violated stops talking, then the perpetrator will never be held accountable for his behavior.

          Lack of Balance

  Many times this characteristic shows up in one extreme or another in trying to live out the truth of Christian life. The first extreme is that of extreme objectivism, which elevates objective truth to the exclusion of valid subjective experience. This can be seen in those whose religious systems theologically acknowledges the Holy Spirit's work but on a practical level appears to ignore Him.

  All too often this type of extreme limits God to act only those ways we can explain or understand. In some respect this is like the Jehovah's Witness who doesn't accept the doctrine of the Trinity and other orthodox teachings because they reason if they can't understand it, it must not be of Jehovah.

  The second extreme is that of extreme subjectivism, which is deciding what is true based upon feelings and experiences rather than what the Bible teaches. In such a system, people are led to believe that they cannot understand Scriptural truths until the leaders receive them by spiritual revelation from the Lord and impart them to the people. Such is the case with the revelation knowledge that many Word-Faith teachers claim. Much more will be said about this in future articles.

  Words of Wisdom and Words of Knowledge can come from God through spiritually sensitive people today. However, these words do not supersede the authoritative weight of the Apostles. The only real way to be sure that a word from the Lord is for you, is if it's the Word of the Lord, that is, Scripture. And yes, even in this, Scripture is not to be used to manipulate people.

          Unspoken Rules

  These are rules which govern unhealthy churches or families but are not formally stated or written. Since they are not spoken verbally, you do not find out that the rule(s) exist until you have broken one.

  The unspoken rule may come across like this: Do not disagree with the church authorities þ especially the pastor or your loyalty will be suspect. Silence becomes the fortress wall of protection, shielding the pastor's power position from scrutiny or challenge.

  Of the unspoken rules, the can't talk rule is probably the most powerful. The thinking of this rule is: The real problem can not be exposed because then it would have to be dealt with and things would have to change, so it must be protected behind walls or silence (neglect or by assault þ legalistic attack). If you speak about the problem out loud, YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. In some way you must be silenced or eliminated.

  A good example of this can't talk rule would be the phrase touch not the Lord's anointed. According to John Avanzini, Dr. Walter Martin (a cult apologetic expert) died because he spoke out against some of the Word-Faith teachers and their messages (John Avanzini with Paul Crouch, Spring 1990 Praise-a-thon, broadcast on Trinity Broadcast Network).

  Again, Enroth gives an example of the same thing which happened with Pat, a former youth worker at Phil Aquilar's Set Free Ministries. Six months after having left Set Free, Pat came back to visit her sister in law. Aquilar met him and began calling him names. A few minutes later, Aquilar's secretary shows up and joins in by telling Pat that he's treading on dangerous ground and that God would probably take Pat's life because he was "messing with a man who was anointed by God" (op. cit.).

  Speaking up or against spiritual abuse is not the problem. The real problem is if a Christian who feels violated stops talking, then the perpetrator will never be held accountable for his behavior.

          Misplaced Loyalty

  In a spiritually abusive system, a misplaced sense of loyalty is fostered and even demanded. Loyalty not to Christ but to an organization, church or leader. Because authority is assumed or legislated, and therefore not real, following must be legislated as well.

  We see this very clearly with the Jehovah's Witnesses with their blind loyalty to whatever the Watchtower says. This is true for all cults because of the tendency to divide loyalties.

  Included in this is the attitude that "we alone are right" þ something the leadership projects. So many groups have this in common. When Hobart Freeman began Faith Assembly (not associated with the Assemblies of God) loyalty to him and his teachings were to be accepted without question. To question Freeman, a self-acknowledged "prophet of God" was to risk the charge of blasphemy.

  In such a spiritually abusive system, manipulation certainly takes place, especially in the area of dating and marriage. Leaders of groups keep members in check by forbidding them to date. Some of this can be seen in Maranatha Christian Ministries, as well as other groups.

  There's HOPE!

  What does the Kingdom of God really look like? She's a special Lady, a "Bride PREPARED for the return of the Groom," the King of Glory. She's "a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and without blemish." She is an equal yoke for Jesus-- compassionate, yet filled with fury towards hypocrisy, sensitive, yet relentlessly pursuing the completion of Her Father's business.

  She'll be a church that is not bound by time and place, but "daily in public and from house to house." She'll be "joined and knit together by every supporting ligament," everyone members of one-another," "confessing sins one to another," "admonishing one another daily so that none are hardened by the deceitfulness of sin," always loving and serving and "bearing one-another's burdens" in joy and thanksgiving. And a few tears. Her corporate gatherings will only be the overflow of what is happening on the streets and in the homes of all of her people. "Now the multitude of those who believed were of one heart and one soul; neither did anyone say that any of the things he possessed was his own."

  The church will be characterized by "mega power" and "mega grace." Sin will be exposed and eradicated with "ever-increasing Glory" in the lives of those in the church. Captives will, at long last, be set FREE. The singing of songs to our God won't be written in a menu printed a week in advance, but erupt even in the Burger King parking lot. What's real in one place must surely be real everywhere!

  Together, with intimacy of relationships, we'll do what our Lord did (Jesus, the Christ of God, who lives now within us, individually and as a People-- Col 1:26-27; Rom 8:9). This passage, in context, is for every generation that will walk with Him:

  (Isaiah 61:1-7, Luke 4:18-19)

  "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to preach good tidings to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn, to console those who mourn in Zion, to give them beauty for ashes, the oil of joy for mourning, the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness; that they may be called trees of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified."

  "And they shall rebuild the old ruins, they shall raise up the former desolations, and they shall repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations."

  "You shall be named the Priests of the Lord, men shall call you the Servants of our God."

  Now, that's better than a cult, or a boring or big-machine church any day, isn't it?!

  Rest assured, "We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God." Will you "go for it"-- no matter what everyone else is doing? Will you pay that price? I know you will. It's entirely worth it.

  "Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be GLORY in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen."

  
  
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